It's not all roses and hot cups of tea.

Today has been a rough day. Tuesdays usually are, but today especially. My mother in law and I attend a Bible study on the book of Ruth on Tuesdays... and every week it seems Satan has absolutely nothing else to do than stop us from meeting. We've had ladies puking their guts out the night before, cars breaking down just 2 miles from our meeting place, jobs gained (not necessarily a bad thing), and actual physical and spiritual attacks from Satan's bidders. It makes me sick really... to think that he is that crafty.

2 out of 6 of us have little ones, and as most of you know, life is hard with babies. Going anywhere is like packing for a cross country excursion.  The time that we meet is also precisely the time my little Illana likes to be right about here

And I do mean right about there. In her crib. Pretty much the only place this precious child will sleep soundly. Which doesn't make it exactly a breeze to be away from home during nap time.

This morning, I didn't feel well at all. And the funny thing about being a Mommy is you can feel sick all you want, but life still must go on. I would have loved it if Illana cooperated this afternoon and didn't SCREAM her fool head off when it took me just a little longer than usual to meet her needs. It would have been grand if she had the ability to understand that Mommy really just felt like putting in some ear plugs and getting back under the covers... but alas, she is but a child. My child. And I love her.

This is why we care for our children. Love. It comes with their great arrival into this world. We can't explain it, we can't help it. For some of us, it takes some time to love them... or even like them (my hand is raised). But we do. With agape love, we care for them. Give them kisses til their cheeks fall off, change horrid diapers, bawl our way through breastfeeding until we finally get it, wake up 17 times in the night; get peed, pooped, drooled, and spit up on.

So I'll miss a few bible studies in my time. There will be parties I won't make it to, dinners that will be late getting to the table, missed calls, appointments canceled. But this one thing is for sure, my children will know I love them, unconditionally. I will invest in their lives every moment I get. I will not be perfect and I will not act in a way that makes them believe they have to be either. I will not always get it right, and I might even do it wrong more times than not. But I will fix my eyes on Elohim - the God who created my sweet babies. My strength and refuge in times of uncertainty. He will guide me through teething and tuition.

And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." - John 13:35